Posts by Rabbi David Wolpe

A grandfather solves the most troubling problem of the first book of the Torah. From the beginning there have been clashes between brothers: Cain and Able, Isaac and Ishmael, Jacob and Esau, Joseph and his brothers. Sometimes the clashes are sparked by parents, at other times the siblings themselves build resentments. Now Joseph is in Egypt with his brothers. On his deathbed Jacob, Joseph’s father, calls Joseph and his sons Menasseh and Ephraim. Jacob tells Joseph he intends to adopt them as his own, but of course, they are really his grandchildren. It is the first interaction of a grandparent…

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Hanukkah is made memorable largely by the latkes, the dreidel, the songs and the jelly donuts – the atmosphere of the holiday. Distinguished from the Hanukkiah that we light in the window, these are a matter of custom, not of law. Much of Judaism relies on customs that create the ‘feel’ of things, an atmosphere in the home which was shaped throughout our history by mothers. In an age when women and men both have communal positions, we should be mindful of how women influenced Jewish life when their public voices were not heard. The formative first years of education…

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When I speak to high school students, I tell them that the only word that gives you freedom is ‘no.’ The one who cannot say ‘no’ is a slave. Both boys and girls (especially the latter) are socialized to believe they are responsible for the other person’s feeling and therefore must always say ‘yes.’ Otherwise you are being contrary, disagreeable or unkind. But if you cannot say ‘no’ your ‘yes’ has little meaning – it is not affirmation but coercion. In this spirit Emerson wrote in his journals, “I like the sayers of No better than the sayers of Yes.”…

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Remember the days of old; consider the years of past generations. Ask your father, and he will tell you, your elders, and they will teach you.” (Deut. 32:7). We need the historical awareness the Torah recommends. Are we really “more polarized than ever?” There was a time when congressmen (no women) would arm themselves with clubs and knives, before the civil war. Oh, and there was a civil war. Closer in time, in 1968, there were terrible assassinations, a horrific war, the withdrawal of a President from public life, shooting of college students by the national guard, and a political convention that almost exploded….

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I would like to speak in favor of the most endangered resource in our public lives: the assumption of good intentions. Throughout my rabbinate I have found myself in disputes, sometimes as a moderator and sometimes as a party to the dispute. They have ranged from public issues to family fights to events in the synagogue. I have always been tempted – and seen others tempted – to assume that the person who disagrees with me must have less than pure motives. It is as if we are programmed to assume disagreement about sensitive matters is an insult, rather than…

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We know less about Isaac than any of the other patriarchs. In the major events of his life he is acted upon – being bound for the Akedah and having Jacob steal the birthright by fooling Isaac in old age. But we are also told that he redug the wells of his father and never left the land of Israel. In other words, Isaac was the patriarch of consolidation, the one who ensured that the remarkable achievements of Abraham would not be lost. Jacob could wander, because he had, in the terms of modern psychology, a secure base. Isaac is…

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This was a week of losses. The horrible shooting in Pittsburgh preoccupies all of us, and the question of how to respond. Yet another loss we suffered this week points the way. In our community we lost Max Webb at the age of 101. Max survived multiple labor and concentration camps. He was a builder, a philanthropist, a one time dance instructor and a remarkably wise and sparkling human being. And I will never forget what he told me almost twenty years ago. Having moved into a condo, Max one day approached me and asked how the condo was. You…

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Recently in Japan I had lunch at a Zen Temple (the all-vegetarian cuisine was outstanding). My friends and I were seated next to one another. One of the adepts explained that we were not across from each other to discourage conversation. People were supposed to concentrate wordlessly on their food. I thought of my family’s Shabbes table, or indeed any table, weekday or Shabbat, breakfast, lunch or dinner. The only silence was due to my mother’s unaccountably insisting that we not talk when our mouth’s were full of food. Otherwise it was a circus of volubility: jokes, questions, emphatic answers,…

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In his book “The Art of Rivalry” Sebastian Smee writes about the often bitter rivalries that existed between the great artists of the twentieth century. Matisse and Picasso, Manet and Degas, Pollock and De Kooning, and Freud and Bacon were sometimes friends, sometimes enemies and always in competition with one another. Smee shows that the rivalry made each a better artist. The notion of rivalry to improve rather than simply destroy is increasingly rare. In sports, the end zone dance is to mock the opposition. In politics, the argument is not for clarity but victory. There is a delight in…

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Yes, Sukkot is over, but Rabbi David Bashevkin drew my attention to a beautiful comment that you can remember until next year! During the grace after meals on Sukkot we recoite the blessing asking God to rebuild the “fallen Sukkah of David.” The blessing comes from the prophet Amos (9:11). The Maharal of Prague points out that when we ask God to rebuild the “fallen Sukkah” of David, we are saying something profound about the nature of a Sukkah. Unlike a house which, when it falls or crumbles, is no longer a house but a pile of rubble, even a…

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